Homework

An operating and application system of the processes of change and development which is, in fact, the important part of change production.

The term “homework” is as important as the term “Friendship School” and it is designed to show the student that he is here to learn, and that he is not here for a therapy. We believe that traditional psychological sessions are not efficient. The benefit mainly derives from what the patient does between sessions and that means homework.

I am not trying to be modest. An accompaniment by a guide from Friendship School makes the process shorter. The guide, with his scenery sight, can easily pinpoint repressions and crude rejections of the client and it is certainly useful. Participation in the workshop also contributes a great deal. However, it should be noted that the most important thing is the homework. If a person comes to the meetings but does not do anything in between, he will not benefit and will probably be expelled from school.

Homework is based on our days’ content. We shape our days and decide what to plant in them. Things that are not included in our days’ content do not exist as far as we are concerned. Thus, if we wish to develop something, we are supposed to devote some time for it on a daily basis; this is our homework. For example, if we wish to develop our relationships, we should meet friends; if we wish to improve our piano playing, we should combine tapping the keys in our schedule. If we do not do the homework, our wishes will remain limited to our imagination. A person who convinces himself he does not have time actually says that his timetable was forced upon him. It is not so – we are the masters of our time. Only at a prison dungeon there is not enough maneuvering space to select one’s occupations.

In order to plan the homework schedule we must think of our reservoir of abilities. On the one hand, we should not burden ourselves with unrealistic tasks, but, on the other hand, we should not deal with things which are too easy for us, and thus, do not add anything to our reservoir of abilities. A person who reaches a conclusion after a single meeting has not even started to do his homework. Every new element we add to our world requires a set of experiences, before we do some self search and decide what to keep and what to leave behind. A person who has not built his identity yet, should experience several fields simultaneously. A few weeks later he should make comparisons, prefer and reduce. How do we plan friendly homework? This is a personal question which demands customization. One person should do homework related to delinquency and another should focus on sports. Another person is required to make coffee for his mother and befriend her. Should we start studying Italian? We have to ask ourselves if it is worthwhile for us, or is it better to invest our efforts in something else. We should check how it relates to the other components of our identity; check whether we neglect something else which is more important to us. In other words, perhaps a crude rejection of a more important goal is hidden behind our desire to study Italian and it will remain further neglected.

Anyway, all the things we agree on are supposed to be reflected in the homework. If you are a single man who wants to be in a relationship, it should be reflected in your daily routine through numerous relevant experiences. If your time is filled up with various occupations, but not with the occupation you are supposed to focus on, you are not doing relevant homework.

You wish to become a painter who enjoys his art and makes a living from it; you should paint on a daily basis.

At our school it is not allowed to say: “I wish” without expressing it in practice, through homework. We shall not mislead ourselves that we are about to see the north, when we are headed southward, or toward any other direction which is not north…