Enforcement Tools

It is difficult to describe to which extent a certain bug in my clients’ initial programming is change resistant. It is as if this bug has control over the person, put him on automatic control and from this point on makes sure that certain experiences repeat themselves. I try to convince my client to rebel against the force controlling his life, to defeat it altogether, or just to bypass it. I try to assist my client take control over his own life.

Indeed, I keep trying but it does not always work.

The term “enforcement tools” expresses my helplessness. My tools are so humble when I sit on my couch trying to convince and influence someone to make a change. And I do not make do with sitting on the couch. Ever since I retied from traditional psychology, I have been doing everything I could possibly do in order to promote change. Starting from housing the client in my home in order to cut him off from undesirable influences and expose him to a different culture to house calls and all sorts of manipulations…

Surely, in Friendship School success rates are much higher compared with other methods, but much lower than what could have been achieved… More than once I get to know a client, review his capabilities and talents and I am eager to help him realize his potential while the client, in my opinion, contents himself with little. Here, the force of the bug in the initial programming is fully expressed and I feel helpless – I cannot defeat this bug when my client supports it.

The only tool at my disposal when I come across a learning decliner is to expel him from my school. I have decided not to earn a living by trying to help people who cannot be changed. On rare occasions, it does help. In most cases, it does not. This client will easily find a psychologist who will listen to him eagerly and not burden him with homework. ..

This is the reason I do not look for the one with the problem, but the one who has the ability to produce change. In most cases, these are the parents or the spouses. If the spouse is wise and has the ability to influence, he is very significant to the one with the problem. He can assist in the process of change. I see it as an act of love…

When parents or spouses are also limited and helpless, or in case they have the ability but refuse to cooperate, there is nothing more I can do.

It should be mentioned, though, that I do not recommend starting with these enforcement tools. The best way of making a change is the pleasant way and by exposing the individual to enjoyable, entertaining cultural stimulations. But when an unfriendly pattern has already been fixated, we must prepare an alternative plan which includes influential tools which are not connected to the head, but to the “feet”… For instance, if the child does not respond to friendly suggestions, he shall find out it is not worthwhile, because he loses something. For example, his family goes on a trip without him since he did not bother to learn how to be considerate towards other people. Taking him to the trip, before he has changed, might spoil other people’s enjoyment.

Entertaining Quality

The extent to which something we do entertains us.

In order to achieve maximal entertaining quality, we must concentrate on the activities with high attention level. If we do not concentrate on what we do, it is as if we swallow food without noticing the taste, as if we look but cannot see, hear but cannot listen. Only sufficient training will enable us to decide when to give good entertaining level and when to eliminate some things from our mind.

Activities which reflect our capabilities well have first rate entertaining quality. Some people enjoy their professions and hobbies. However, an addiction to negative factors such as pain, suffering or depression, could also be of high entertaining quality. In the past, psychologists used to say that some people “enjoy suffering”. They talked about “masochistic pleasure”. The word “pleasure” cannot be perceived in the context of suffering. Thus, I prefer to refer to “entertaining quality” or “recreation”. Still, most people are expected to object to this approach. A negative activity is perceived by most people as something which is forced upon us by life circumstances beyond our control. But, I suggest making a distinction between events and habits. A negative feeling can indeed derive as an initial response to a certain traumatic event, but if it lasts for long, it becomes a habit, an addiction, recreation. I look at it from the cultural point of view. Some people spend their time with music, dancing and philosophy, while others focus on suffering, depression and idleness. The change occurs when such a person replaces the negative activities with other, friendly, cultural activities. With a little effort, almost anyone can find out how easy it is for him to feel negative feelings such as deprivation, offense, obsessive thoughts etc. It does no bore us. If we became addicted to a negative factor and we wish to stop the addiction, we must choose an immediate relief which is not negative – such as our favorite sport or an activity which fascinates us and is not related to pain and suffering. People who have not yet developed their identity and their ability channels will have to be extremely determined in order to establish their identity and get rid of the negative addiction.

Developing the ability to concentrate contributes a great deal to producing entertaining quality. The ones who have learnt to enjoy their actions and their surroundings live meaningful lives. Think of the difference between a person who sees the raising of his children as a constraint consisting of multiple burdensome tasks such as watching the children, feeding them, washing them, putting them to sleep, helping them with their homework, and all he wants is to complete the tasks and rest. And now think of someone who enjoys spending time with his children and perceives the tasks as additional elements and not as the focus. Think of the difference between someone who is married only “on paper” and someone who enjoys spending time with his spouse. Think of the difference between a person who works to support his family and a person who supports his family by focusing on his favorite hobby.